Any recommendations for wine tasting or romantic hotels in Santa Ynez?

Los Olivos.  Stay Fess Parker Winery.

check out Ballard Inn & Restaurant. It's quaint more so than romantic. But they have bikes you can ride to some nearby wineries. Pretty cool spot. The wedding party stayed here for my brother's wedding a few years back and it was nice. It's on the pricier end of places in the area, but if you want to do something nice/memorable, it's a good option. Also, the Fess Parker Winery is a quaint b&b style place that is located right in downtown Los Olivos making is very central to food and wineries. The Los Olivos Wine Merchant Cafe is literally across the street and they have good food and plenty of wine to keep you "busy". 

Also my buddy runs the Summerwood Winery & Inn in Paso, and although I haven't been there, I've had people stay there and they loved it. If you want to venture further north that's a good option too.