Where should I head as a allocentric tourist and backpacker? Is Tibet a good option?
(I just had to look up what allocentric means!)
We spent three weeks in Nepal recently and really did not love Kathmandu. There are certainly temples to see, but it's crowded, hard to navigate, and dustier than any city I've ever been in. I'd recommend using it as a base for trekking but getting out ASAP.
That said, Bhaktapur is 30-40mins east and is really special. The have a big swath of the city cordoned off from vehicle traffic and more temples per square kilometer than Kathmandu by a wide margin.
On the allocentric front, I'm not entirely clear. Are you looking to do some voluntourism?
(adding some new stuff)
We stayed in Vajra Guest House in Bhaktapur-- you can do cheaper, but they had lovely rooms, a great location, and wonderful staff ( http://vajraguesthouse.com/ ).
If you want to meet folks, you can't do better than to go trekking! You'll need 7-10 days for a good trek. On the short side, head to Poon Hill. If you've got more time (10-14), do Annapurna Base Camp or the full Annapurna Circuit Trek. The great thing about teahouse trekking is that you're staying in (dirt cheap) plywood "road houses" right on the trail with lots of other trekkers and communal eating/hangout areas. You'll meet tons of people and will be able to swap stories from the trail.
If you're not up for lots of hiking/hills, you can take a bus to Pokhara (5-8h bus). A lot of the trekking trailheads are over that way, so you could theoretically trek and then hang in Pokhora for a few days to rest up. It's right by a lake and has tons of hostels/restaurants (and some of the best/cheapest paragliding in the world).
We did 3 weeks in Nepal and have some more recommendations over here: http://www.50millionsteps.com/category/nepal/
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My friends and I went there last year and we just stayed in Kathmandu since we only had 4 days there. You can visit all the UNESCO sites but all of them have entrance fees. My friends and I decided not to stay in Thamel because we wanted to experience a bit of village life while we were there. I do recommend staying at Peacock Guest House in Dattatraya Square, Bhaktapur. The hosts, Arun and Indra are pretty great and they can help you map out your stay in Kathmandu. Just be sure to book in advance because they only have 10 rooms or so. Their breakfast is also pretty standard (toast, yogurt, fried potatoes), but Indra's guava jam is amazing.
If you're wary about the transportation like we were, ask Arun if he can negotiate with a cab to drive you around during your stay. It's bit of a splurge but we didn't have to worry about finding cabs or buses early in the morning or evening. Our cab driver also doubled up as our camera man for pictures and was a great source of ideas on where to go.
Lastly, if you decide to stay in
Bhaktapur, set aside one day to wake up really early to explore
Durbar Square. The sunrise and early morning rituals were a pretty sight to see without the horde of tourists.
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I would definitely suggest you to go Tibet just to see how spiritual the people are there. There are many hostels in Lhasa. People would post their trip schedule on the board to get more people in their team. You could contact them and join them.
I stayed in Kathmandu and Tibet for about 20 days. Just speechless. Let me know if you have any questions I am willing to help you if I could.