Hi Tandy! My mom and stepdad live in Carmel, so I visit often. In my opinion, the best restaurant in the city is  La Balena. It can get pricey but I think it's worth it.  Casanova and  La Bicyclette are also really romantic options. 

As far as hotels go, my husband and I recently stayed at  Carmel Country Inn and loved it. It's quaint and romantic, each room has a fireplace, and I think most of them have a huge whirlpool tub as well. The location is right in the heart in Carmel by the Sea, so you can walk everywhere... beach, shops, dinner, etc. 

Not sure what your timing is like, but if you can swing it, make sure to drive to Big Sur and grab a drink at Nepenthe. The views are unbelievable. 

 Stay at L'Auberge Carmel which is a Relais & Chateux property downtown. I would grab drinks on the 18th hole at Lodge at Pebble Beach and do a lunch in Big Sur at Sierra Mar restaurant which is in the Post Ranch InnHotel (another amazing, but utterly expensive accomodation option).

For a romantic restaurant, you need to go to Passionfish in Pacific Grove at some point during your trip! It's a close drive from Carmel By the Sea.  I think they only serve dinner and you'll definitely need a reservation. It's not exactly on the water, but for food and an experience that good -- you can overlook that :P Amazing seafood dishes that are all local and sustainable, and they have an awesome at-cost wine list, so no crazy markups. Enjoy yourselves!

Hi! I suggest you stay at Hotel Carmel: http://www.thehotelcarmel.com/rooms/ It's a really beautiful boutique hotel, very cosy and centrally located in the town of Carmel. You can also walk to the beach, which is very nice. This hotel is so cute that it reminds me of a doll house.

Another really nice hotel is La Playa Carmel.

In Carmel you have Fandango Restaurant it's a great, old school steak house.  There's also a ton of great restaurants on Cannery Row, including the original Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.!